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Just like adults, children are likely to encounter a variety of
anxieties, fears and stressful situations. Stress is feeling overwhelmed and
threatened by more than a child can handle, such as from a parent's divorce;
moving; serious family illness; an automobile accident; natural disaster; school
test; stage fright over a presentation; disappointment in a grade; learning a
new skill; excessive demand for success; or being involved in too many
activities. Feelings of stress usually are reactions to particular events or
circumstances.
Recognizing Stress
| Getting help depends upon an adult noticing the warning
signs when a child struggles with stress. If a behavior occurs constantly
or several behaviors continue over a period of time, this may indicate
stress. |
 A child may show
decreased pleasure in everyday activities; grouchiness; fatigue; over
sensitivity to criticism or increased irritability. |
| Changes in
behavior (doing things that are not how they usually act) or in
personality are better signs of stress overload. |
| There may be an
increase in complaints about stomachaches, loss of appetite, being
nervous, trouble sleeping, having nightmares or being angry a lot. |
| Children may
lose concentration, not care about school or friends, withdraw or feel
unloved. |
| Some stress for
children is normal and helps them to learn to deal with challenges and
learn new skills. |
Children's Reactions
| Reactions to stress vary with the child's age; ability to
cope; how long the stress continues; intensity of the stress; and the
amount of support from family and friends. |
 Children may
have difficulty talking about their feelings or deny being troubled. |
| One child may
react to an event with stress, while another child may view it as new and
enjoyable. |
| Children with
strong self-esteem seem to cope better with stress. Good verbal and
problem-solving skills also help. |
| Children can
be prepared to deal with some of life's experiences (such as birth of a
sibling, starting school, moving to a new home, divorce, a doctor or
dental appointment, studying for a test), thus avoiding stress overload. |
| Children may
regress in their behavior (such as thumb sucking, bedwetting, or
tantrums). |
| Fear and
anxiety may be expressed through play. |
How Can Adults Help?
Adults can help children develop coping strategies, provide supportive
environments, show sympathy for a child's feelings and act as role models in
dealing with stressful situations. Adults can help children learn how to
"bounce back" from stress and crisis. Try these strategies:
- Identify, and focus on, the source of the stress itself. Offer frequent
reassurance.
- Usually, a child's thinking is not developed enough to think of options or
think about the result of possible actions. Children must learn to think
through a problem by writing or talking about it or making a plan.
- Ask open-ended questions, such as "What could we do about this?"
- Help children understand that they are not the cause of problems. (A
child's behavior did not cause a parent's divorce or illness.)
- Use art - paint, clay, crayons, markers - to help express feelings.
- Encourage children to talk about feelings and try out ways to cope by
using puppets, blocks, cars, and telephones.
- Be honest about the situation. Don't say everything will be alright or
that something won't hurt. Face the situation with your child. Children
learn to trust adults when they demonstrate honesty.
These ideas can also help children . . .
 Keep family
routines as consistent as possible. |
| Inform
teachers, adult caregivers and other concerned adults about what has
happened and ask their help and support. |
| Seek
professional help, if the intensity of the child's behavior is great or
lasts a long time. |
| Identify what
could cause stress and ways to avoid it. |
| Explain new
situations to prepare the child and reduce anxiety. |
| Praise; be
positive; seek positive solutions; help children to name their feelings;
teach fairness; help children to like themselves; be patient; give lots of
love and encouragement. |
| Children need
time to be children - don't over-schedule them. |
Brought to you by Anne Arundel Child Care Resource and
Referral, in conjunction with Anne Arundel Public Schools and Child Care
Training Institute, AACC, 1999.
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